Flawed Page 23

  I’ve learned that people aren’t cruel. Most people aren’t, anyway, apart from the Logans, the Colleens, the Gavins, and the Natashas of the world, but people are strong on self-preservation. And if something doesn’t directly affect them, they don’t get involved. I should know; I was like that up until last month. Those who do get involved usually have an agenda. Like Pia, like Mr. Berry, like Colleen. And now I wonder why Ms. Dockery has volunteered to face the onslaught of media camped outside my home, every day, to enter the house of a Flawed.

  My mom is in the fashion industry, and this is not a lesson she has newly learned. She has always believed that everybody has an agenda, so we sit at the kitchen table with Ms. Dockery before I go to the library to begin.

  “Celestine is the best student in my class by far, Ms. North,” Ms. Dockery says, in response to Mom’s rather forward question as to why she’s here.

  “Call me Summer, please, and as you can see, and as you know, my daughter has been through a lot. Too much. I need to make sure that you have her best interests at heart, that you will not abuse her or treat her unkindly, and that you will give her every chance that she deserves to succeed.”

  I look at Mom in surprise.

  “Summer,” Ms. Dockery says, smiling, “I appreciate everything you have said, but I am merely here to teach. Anything else that has happened has no bearing on what will happen in our classes together. Celestine’s grasp of complex theorems is remarkable. She seems to understand and remember them almost instantly. She has a wonderful mind. I simply want to make sure my A student does not misrepresent me. Call it selfish, if you will”—she blushes—“but I believe my students represent me, my value as a teacher. For Celestine not to reach her full potential would be a personal failure to me.”

  I’ve learned by now that I haven’t been a good judge of character. I always knew that Juniper was but never knew that I was so bad. I seem to have gotten it wrong each and every time, and I need Juniper’s strength of understanding and reading people to help me through. Though the irony is that I even misjudged my own sister. I think of Carrick and how he read every situation. A roll of the eyes; a square, untrusting jaw; black eyes that never moved when he found a target, that had the ability to sear the surface off everything, as though he were trying to analyze a person and cut right to the heart of the truth with one long look.

  I am not in the mood for today’s schooling. I’m exhausted. I’ve lost all hope. Heartbroken by what Art and Juniper did to me, still sore from Friday’s beating, frustrated by Mr. Berry’s and the guards’ being gone, and now Carrick, the one I thought could help me, is impossible to find, managing to avoid even the Whistleblowers. No wonder he hasn’t come to find me. It’s too dangerous.

  Mom seems satisfied by my teacher’s responses. I, on the other hand, am not so sure. Ms. Dockery and I go into the library.

  “First things first,” she says in a no-nonsense tone, quite different from the one she used in the kitchen. “Call me Alpha, not Ms. Dockery. If I’m to be in your house, then we’re on the same level.”

  I nod.

  She retrieves papers from her bag and sits down opposite me. “Second, here’s our schedule of work, cleared by the school and the Guild,” she says in a bored tone. “I had to go through it with them so clearly and slowly that I should have charged them a teaching fee.”

  I laugh in surprise at her sudden change in personality.

  “Should anyone ask, and they most likely will, this is what we’re doing. But between you and me, we’ll be working on so much more.” She rolls up her sleeves. “And third, I should inform you of this.” She stands up and pulls her blouse out of the waistband of her trousers.

  I look away, embarrassed by my teacher’s sudden show of flesh, her stomach so close to my face. But when I can see from the corner of my eye that she won’t cover herself up until I’ve looked, I slowly turn to face her. And there on her lower abdomen is a red F contained by a red circle. Not a scar, but a tattoo.

  FIFTY-THREE

  I GASP. “WHO put that there?”

  “I did.”

  “But I would do anything to get mine off and you put it there yourself?”

  “It’s different when the power is taken away from you,” she says gently. “And there are many more people with these tattoos. We see being Flawed as a strength, Celestine. If you make a mistake, you learn from it. If you never make a mistake, you’re never the wiser. These so-called perfect leaders we have now have never made a mistake. How can they have learned what’s right and wrong, how could they have learned anything about themselves? About what they feel comfortable doing, about what they feel is beyond the scope of their character? The more mistakes you have made, the more you have learned.”

  I try to let this sink in, but I just can’t wrap my head around it. “Then I must be pretty wise,” I joke.

  “The wisest,” she says seriously. “That’s my point. The Flawed court is Flawed in itself, Celestine. This doesn’t just represent that I feel we’re all flawed, it’s a symbol, showing that I support your cause.”

  And I know that it has begun. This secret movement that Pia had warned me about, that Lisa Life is writing about. I am face-to-face with someone who is a part of it.

  “When you get it right, Celestine North, boy, do you get it right. Your actions on the bus aside”—she waves her hand dismissively as if that was no big deal—“because we all have at least one random act of kindness in us, even the bad guys. But your quotes have been nothing short of perfect. Bang on the money.” She bangs her fist on the table, and I jump.

  “Pia Wang’s articles have been distortions of the truth.”

  “I’m not talking about Pia Wang. I’m talking about her alter ego, Lisa Life.”

  “You know about that?”

  “I recognize her signature style. Not too skilled a writer, if I’m honest, but she somehow has a knack for getting the stories, getting people to speak. She writes better as Lisa Life. The name makes me smile,” she says, not smiling. “You obviously struck a chord with her. Tell me, has she been behaving differently, or is she still a pent-up shark in a box? A puppet shark, mind you, for all the freedom Crevan gives her writing. Freedom of speech, my eye,” she snorts. “And as of this morning, that is set to change. Only minutes ago he announced—”

  “That writing favorably about the Flawed will be seen as aiding a Flawed.” I stand up and start pacing, the adrenaline surging. It’s happening. Crevan is unraveling just as Pia said. Who knows what he’ll do to me now. I’ll have to think of a way to act, fast.

  “Correct,” she says. “So you do read the papers. Usually kids your age need a bomb up their backsides, but it’s good to see you’ve got your wits about you. Frankly, I would have liked to have started this last Monday, but you were insistent on staying in school. Perhaps I should have taken you aside and talked to you in school, but I didn’t think you were ready. In a way, Logan Trilby did me a favor. Though don’t get me wrong, I hope all four of them rot in hell for what they did to you, and thanks to Lisa Life, her article today tells the world just what they did. She doesn’t name names, of course, but she hints just enough for people to be able to guess. People are complaining about your treatment already. The police have a lot of questions to answer for not bringing them to justice. Crevan’s going to want Lisa Life’s blood.”

  And mine.

  I’m not happy that people know what I experienced Friday night. I don’t want it to give others any ideas, but I’m glad that Logan and the gang have been implicated.

  “Before we begin, do you have any questions? Any questions at all.”

  The way she’s looking at me I know I have to sit up and listen. I know it has begun. It’s time to take control of myself now.

  “Tell me about Enya Sleepwell.”

  She smiles for the first time. “Excellent question, kiddo. You’re going to be an A student, I can tell. Tell me what you know about her.”

  “She’s a politici
an. She has a pixie cut. She came to my trial every day. I remember seeing her. She always stood in the back, near the Flawed. She’s a member of the Vital Party. She’s on my side.”

  “Two corrections.” She holds her fingers up. “She’s now leader of the Vital Party. She managed to stage a coup against the party leader. He was sweet but stupid. Enya played him, his own fault, really. He should have watched his back as soon as that girl was voted in. She was voted in as leader just last week, and she has you to thank for that.

  “Second correction, she’s not necessarily on your side. She’s a politician, a fast riser at that. I believe she cares, and she cares hard, but she leans whichever way the wind is blowing, and she’s noticing that the Flawed problem is a rising concern with people, some people anyway. But there’s enough growth in that area to get behind it, so she can surf the wave to victory.”

  As she tells me about her, she flicks through dozens of photos of Enya, many of her caught by cameras standing among the crowds at my trial.

  “If you make one mistake, she’ll drop you like a hot potato, but so far she sees you as her poster girl, her shortcut, freeway to leadership. Power. It’s all about that, don’t you forget. People want money or power. Which do you want?”

  I frown. “Neither.”

  Alpha frowns as she studies me.

  “Wait.” I try to think clearly. “But Enya is already leader. What more does she want?”

  “She’s leader of her party, sweetheart. She’s gunning for leadership of the country.”

  “She thinks that I can help with that?”

  Alpha smiles again, liking my naïveté, but I’m learning fast. “No, she’ll use you to get that; and if you fail, she’ll find something else to get behind, like package holidays to Mars.”

  “So I shouldn’t trust her.”

  “That’s not what I said. You can trust her as long as you’re aware of where she stands. She’s using you, you use her right back. I’m surprised she hasn’t made contact yet.” It’s a statement, but I know she’s questioning me.

  I shake my head.

  “Soon, I imagine.”

  The idea of this scares me.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll coach you. Anything you need to know, you ask me, okay?”

  I nod, but I’m unsure. At this point, I don’t feel like I can trust anybody. Alpha is no different, and she senses this.

  “Yes, I’m using you, too,” she admits. “I’ve an agenda, too. I’ve opinions and beliefs that I want to see come through. You’re the girl of the moment. With a bit of guidance, you’re the one who can make it happen.”

  “Why do you believe in this so strongly?”

  “My husband is Flawed. His temple and tongue.”

  Bad judgment and a liar.

  “He made an ethical mistake at work. Got caught. He was a rising man in the ranks, with great prospects and a bright future, so they put a stop to that and made an example of him.”

  “Why was the Guild so threatened by him?”

  “Interesting, Celestine. You asked why the Guild was so threatened.… You recognize that’s what’s happening. That’s good. Let’s continue.”

  She continues showing me the landscape, which she believes has been opened up because of my actions on the bus and my responses on the stand.

  “Compassion and logic. I loved that,” she says, banging her hand down on the table and grinning. “Did it take you long to come up with that, or did someone else write it for you? Was it that Mr. Berry? Some believe that, but I don’t. It’s not his style.” She moves in, hanging on my every word to come. “Who wrote that line?”

  I frown. “No one wrote anything. It just came out.”

  She shakes her head, incredulously. “Marvelous. We need more of that. You know word is that Enya is going to use that as the Vital Party’s campaign logo. Compassion and Logic: The Perfect Partnership. Vote Vital Party.”

  I shake my head in disbelief.

  “I know. It’s a lot to take in, but we need more of that stuff; and if you think of any more like that, just write it down. I can find a way to use it. So what else … you’re looking a little dazed, maybe I’ll move on to math, something you’re familiar with. For now, anyway…” She rummages around for the schedule. “We better do something on this list today, to help you out with dear sweet Mary May’s lie detector test.”

  “You know her?”

  “She was responsible for my sister-in-law and her husband going to prison for aiding my husband. They helped him break a couple of rules, and they’re locked up for four years each. I wouldn’t mess with her. She looks like a bird, but she bites like a lion. They mean business when they place her with you. She’s the most senior in her position. She eats, sleeps, lives being a Whistleblower. Knows more than any of them put together, which isn’t a lot, but she’s the control center.”

  This is the first I’ve heard of people going to prison for aiding. Before this, it was just a threat. And it was a very real threat to me. Two years for aiding Clayton Byrne to his seat, or Flawed. “I’m sorry to hear about your family.”

  She waves her hand dismissively again and doesn’t even look up from the paperwork.

  “Is there a reason why you tattooed your stomach?”

  This unsettles her a bit, but she rises to the challenge. “I’ve had six miscarriages in four years. My womb won’t carry a baby, not full term anyway. Believe me, we’ve tried. And don’t say sorry again, it’s not your fault.” She looks at the schedule again and then drops it and slows down. I know she’s going to open up. “The tattoo is there not because I believe there is something wrong with me. It’s there to remind me that our flaws are our strengths. It was this that made me start my foundation. Not being able to conceive my own, I looked into adoption. Specifically, I’ve tried to adopt an F.A.B. child over the years, but I have been unsuccessful. But I’m not telling you anything you don’t know,” she says. “You know all about this from your Flawed At Birth friend, I’m sure. Carrick, isn’t that his name?”

  Now she has my attention.

  FIFTY-FOUR

  “HOW DO YOU know about Carrick?” I ask, suddenly suspicious.

  I begin to question my instincts again. Is this a setup to try to find Carrick? Crevan has managed to somehow make Mr. Berry and the guards disappear, and now he’s searching for Carrick? Are they using Alpha to find out the information from me? I can’t trust her. This all could be a trick, a trick to catch Carrick, to catch me. I’m not as gullible as I once was. If anything, that attribute was my main flaw. My eyes are open now, wide open to everyone around me, but I also know I need to be smart and try to learn as much about Carrick from her as I can.

  “You’re right to be suspicious,” she says. “That’s good. You’re wondering how I know all this. Carrick didn’t receive much, if any, coverage in the wake of you, Angelina Tinder, and Jimmy Child, and it’s safe to say the Guild doesn’t like stories of Flawed At Birth children searching for their Flawed parents.”

  Flawed At Birth children? I try not to react to this news, when inside my mind is whirling, my stomach churning.

  “I’m sure you know the children are not allowed to search for their biological parents. First, they’re taken away from their Flawed parents and locked up in an institution for eighteen years to ‘teach’ the Flawed out of them. As soon as they reach eighteen years of age, they are released. If they search for their parents, even so much as think about it, they’re branded Flawed. Loyalty to their own flesh and blood is seen as disloyalty to society.” She shakes her head, the anger causing the veins in her neck to pulsate. Despite my fear that this is a setup to locate Carrick, Alpha’s anger on this subject is certainly not fabricated.

  I think of Carrick’s file and remember the F.A.B. beside his name. Flawed At Birth. The file also said Carrick received a brand to his chest for disloyalty. This would add up if what she’s saying is true. I decide to believe her, but I’m still not sure if I can trust her.

  “Ca
rrick should have waited a few months,” she says angrily, almost as if she’s directing it at me and it was my fault he did this. “They always keep a close eye on their students for the first few months to make sure they don’t search for their biological parents, but he searched for them too soon, almost like he wanted to be caught.…” She trails off, eyes studying me for my reaction. I don’t respond to her. I’m too stunned by what I hear, too moved, feel too sad for Carrick. I want to find him and hug him right now. I wish I’d known this when I was in there, when we were sleeping side by side in our glass cages. I thought he was a soldier, somebody who had done the worst possible act, but really all he had done was the gentlest. The caged animal who paced and fought and looked like he wanted to fight the world had merely tried to find his parents, who were forced to give him up as a child because they were Flawed. Does knowing that Carrick is the son of Flawed parents change my opinion of him?

  Yes, it does.

  He’d spent years being endlessly brainwashed, being told that his parents were worthless, that he was better than them, only to search for them too soon after his release. His love couldn’t be broken; he won. He is even braver than I’d thought. He is the soldier I believed he was.

  The comments Tina made about him in the cells now make sense to me, that he was a “bad egg,” and Judge Crevan’s flippant comment about his being “Flawed to the bone.” It’s true. He never even had a chance. His trial must have been a joke. He was branded as soon as he was born. He was never going to lose that. Maybe Alpha’s suspicions are right, maybe he did deliberately want to become Flawed. Maybe he wanted to be who he really was for better or for worse, and not somebody the Guild had reared him to be. The more I think about him, the more he goes up in my estimation.